No One Told Me

No One Told Me

One of the catchiest tunes I have ever heard has to be I’ll be There For You by The Remembrandts. It is the theme tune for the hit comedy series Friends which aired from the Mid-90s to the Early-2000s. In the song, The Remembrandts talk about how no one told ‘you’ what life was going to be like.


I find the tune catchy because I have been watching the series lately and I find the lyrics relevant to my present situation. Because nobody actually told me life was going to be like this. Nobody gave me a warning on how strange everything would turn out. And how bad it would get before, hopefully, getting better. I just found myself here, wondering how I got here in the first place.


Every time I listen to the tune as each episode opens, I can’t help but wonder if the things am going through are what every person my age goes through. I mean, is this normal? Is it okay to feel lost and confused as you transition to full adulthood? Is this it? Is this how it is supposed to go?


So, I have to ask, do you ever feel stuck? Like you are trying to move forward but all you seem to be doing is marking time on the same spot? You can’t feel yourself moving forward or backwards or sideways. It is like you are a hamster in a wheel. Moving with all your might but covering no distance. Or is it just me?


Of late I have been feeling so. Just stuck to the same spot. So much that I cannot really tell whether am actually living or just existing. It is a tough situation to be in. And I thought I was alone. But on a few occasions I will stumble upon a post on Facebook from someone I know (often times my age mate or someone within my age range) who cries how stagnant their life is. And I will realize that am not alone. I will also realize that am in this age where people have to get stuck in order to really move forward. Unless they are one of those with a Midas Touch who will try something only once and succeed at it.


I know people who have great success in their careers, or in their love life, or in their social lives. I also know of so many people, who like me, have dismal success across all three platforms. But such is life. You just take it as it comes; grabbing whatever chance you can, and moving on in faith. So what if you cannot be as successful at work as somebody else, or cannot keep as loyal a circle of friends as somebody else? What does it matter if you have not yet found your soul mate? It does not matter because everyone has their own life, and nobody can live the life of another. You first have to find yourself in order to find all those other measures of a good life.


Lately I have also realized – from my conversations with older people – that this feeling is normal, and that it eventually ends. That all I need to do is hang on and stay focused on where I want to be rather than where I am. But that hanging on sometimes becomes so difficult that am forced to ask myself a lot of difficult questions. Most of which I have no answer for.

I once talked to an older and much more successful blogger who told me that life will have to get a lot harder before it gets smooth. And that the hard times build character and will help me realize who I am. Maybe he was right, maybe he was not (I still can’t tell yet). All I know for sure is that everybody lives a life different from that of everybody else. That’s just how it is, and has to be. So, because life is meant to be lived, I have to take it as it is, and live it on my own terms.


For now, I hang on (by a thread), and think of better times to come rather than the quick sand that I seem to be stuck in at the moment. Because am told that my life is just about to begin – and that for many people, it actually begins at 40. I pray that mine should begin sooner than that.



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